- Is the weather outside frightful? It’s a little chilly, but not too bad.
- Do you hear what I hear? No. It was the dog. I swear it wasn’t me.
- Have you seen Mommy kissing anyone other than Daddy? My parents are divorced. Thanks for bringing THAT up.
- Are the halls decked? Sort of. I still need to take down the pumpkin lights around the fireplace.
- Is everything merry and bright? Not particularly. I have work to do.
- Do you know anybody named Parson Brown? Never met him.
- Have you noticed the presence of any out-of-place birds, such as swans, geese, calling birds, french hens, or partridges? No, but now I’m paranoid.
- Shall I play for you on my drum? You don’t even have a drum. Don’t tease me.
- Is everyone dancing merrily? They’re watching TV, so I don’t think so.
- Is all calm? Seriously? How can I be calm when all those birds are hiding somewhere?
See that? No. On all counts.
You know what that means? It’s not Christmas yet. So stop it. Really. No Christmas music until Santa rides in on his sleigh at the end of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.
It’s the law.